"I have seen evil, I know its face ," the blind woman whispers to me. Though I no longer wish to hear.
She is speaking Bulgarian, but I hear her just the same as if she were whispering my native tongue.
"What is evil?" I ask, shaking my head because it's not a question I want an answer to, though I'm sure my spirit knows I need to hear it nonetheless.
"What is evil?" she scoffs, and yet her voice is still kind.
"You are light, you bring happiness and smiles wherever you go. This is good. This is right. You speak the truth as I always speak the truth about the things I see. Evil then is the absence of light. The absence of truth."
I want to remind her that she's dead.
But only because I don't feel good. I feel bitter and angry and sad, most of the time.
"How can I be good when so many terrible things have happened to me? How can I be good when I have lived such a cursed life?" I ask with a growl, because my bitterness needs a place to go.
"Why did I have to suffer so? Because it is fate, girl. And neither you nor I can change our fate. Not unless we choose the darkness. Not unless we go against God's wishes."
"But why, Baba? Why does God ask us to suffer so much?"
Baba Vanga shook her head. She was sad, and her chin trembled as if she would cry. Yet though the young woman's chin quivered she continued to radiate warmth and love.
"Through us God helps people see. People lost in the darkness. We bring the light to them."
"And they hate us for it. They shun us for it. They murder us for it."
Baba Vanga nodded her head. "This they do, child. This they continue to do."
"I can't do it anymore, Baba. I don't have the strength.
"Hold on, child," she told me. "Hold on. Fate is not yet finished with you."
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“Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim."