​Sleaze Land – Chapter 1 (On the Dork Side) Part 2

Sleaze Land – Chapter 1 (On the Dork Side) Part 2
 
 
 
 
     “No one is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart: for his purity, by definition, is unassailable.”  James Baldwin
 
 
 
Mattias McConaughey stared at the man who had been appointed his defending council, and swallowed hard.
 
I mean, sure… the guy was everything a proper gentleman should be, he was tall, had a well-groomed beard, piercing green eyes, and an upper torso that looked like it had been chiseled by Michelangelo himself. 
 
But technically speaking, the man was not a lawyer.  In fact, the sword-wielding barbarian turned pirate turned seemingly-innocuous perpetrator of evil – was only an actor.
 
Just like him.
 
So, Mattias swallowed again.  And then he asked for a bourbon.
 
“Is this your own batch?” he asked the man, though he knew there were a million other questions that were technically a bit more pressing.
 
“Yeah,” the would-be lawyer growled, with such a sexy well-honed voice it poured into his client’s ears like warmed honey.
 
“Good, that’s good,” Mattias said, as he silently pined for a bong hit and a hand-job from his wife.
 
Only… she wasn’t speaking to him at the moment.
 
“Maybe we should discuss your case,” the six-foot-two Irish born hunk said, as he refilled both of their glasses.
 
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” Mattias told him, though, looking around the small studio they sat in, he didn’t have such a great feeling about any of it.
 
“They said it’s just for show.  You know, to teach us fellas who stood back and raked in all the jobs, contracts, respect, and cash, over the past forty-some years while all of our women folk suffered – a lesson.”
 
Mattias sure had heard The Ides' reasonings enough, enough sos he could personally spew them back in the correct order. 

But by the ever-glazed look in his attorney's eyes, well... Mattias found it nearly impossible to tell if he actually understood any of what he was saying... at all.
 
“My wife says she’ll divorce me and take all of my money and the kids if I don’t do this,” Mattias suddenly confessed out of nowhere, as he dropped his head in a learned display of shame, and guilt.
 
“My wife says I need bigger muscles,” the handsome lawyer replied, with a careless shrug.
 
“Look, you’ve just gotta help me spin this, make it look like I’m winning.  You know… drinking tiger blood – and shit,” McConaughey told the man, as he jumped to his feet and took the giant about his collar.
 
“I just can’t have it known that my wife left me.  I mean, that’s not how this dog hunts.  Alright?”

"Alright?  Alright?"
 
The large man shook off the aging actor whose face resembled a melting ice cream cone, with little effort.
 
And then he wondered if the man could even grow a decent beard.  From the looks of him, he guessed he couldn't.
 
“Look, I’m gonna do the best I can, but it’s not like you’re giving me a lot to work with here," his fake lawyer replied. 

"I mean – did you really go two full years without mentioning your wife’s name on your social media accounts?”
 
The weasel-faced man that perpetually looked both dazed and confused just stared at his would-be-defender.
 
“It says here that you tooted your own horn to the exclusion of everything else – well, except them sports.  And some odd political and medical rants that clearly were placed there just ta aid your attempts at becomin' governor.  Ain't that true?  I mean... you never retweeted your wife at all?   Not even for those PBS specials she done?”
 
The bearded god-like figure of the lawyer stared down at his client – in that ‘I’m so much better than you' fashion he’d learned early-on in his acting career.
 
Though, technically speaking, he hadn’t mentioned his wife, nor supported any of her endeavors since they’d been married – so…. Technically the large behemoth of a man didn’t really see a crime here.
 
However, standing over the shriveled form of the one-time-hero just made the actor feel superior.  Even if the facts didn’t add up.
 
"I had a book to sell,” Mattias explained, with that same inflection of innocence he’d used on that ‘Awkward Chats With A Blackman’ podcast – where he’d told the whole-wide-world he’d just recently learned about racism in America.
 
“You know, The Ides also intend for you to define exactly what you meant about merit-based-equality,” the would-be-counselor, Clide Standen, replied out of the blue, almost as if he’d been reading the man’s mind.
 
“How can anyone be less-equal to another?  That’s the very first question they have on their list,” the dark-haired gent told his non-paying client.
 
“I don’t know.  I guess if they don’t work as hard,” the blonde man with the emaciated heart answered, as truthfully as he could.
 
“Wrong!” his lawyer bellowed – right in the man’s slightly jaundiced face. 
 
“And answers like that ain’t gonna get you anywhere with these women.  Don’t you understand what we’re dealing with here, man?”
 
The man being charged with an arm’s length list of ‘crimes against society’ just shrugged, and then took another belt of his drink.
 
“These people believe in supporting each other – especially those that have been under-supported in the past!  And all you’ve done is support yourself and your own ignorant and might I say, extremely biased, views of the world.  You’ve got to find answers they want to hear, mate.  Answers that make them happy.  Damn, didn’t your wife teach you anything about the fairer sex?”
 
 
 
 
    “A Southern dude with a groovy attitude? To that we say, "alright, alright, alright."  Matthew McConaughey
 
 
 
 
© Raena Exe 2021
 
 
*Inspired by life.
*All characters, places, and events are completely fictional.
*All rights reserved.

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