Are you in an abusive relationship? Many business transactions are inherently abusive these days. 1. They tear down your self esteem by saying things that sound nice on the outside, but are meant to break you down and keep you a docile punching bag. Compliments with a backhanded insult attached. "The house looks great, for once." 2. Forbidden topics, things they won't discuss, questions they won't answer. Accounts they won't account for. 3. They demand the structure of the relationship be on their terms only. 4. They always use very specific language that they hardly ever deviate from. 5. Implying or demanding you soothe them during periods of emotional dysregulation. Suicide threats if you don't cooperate with their plan. 6. Making you defend yourself by intentionally placing you in unnatural and vulnerable situations. 7. Overt bullying, judgemental statements, and belittling remarks used to shift blame or responsibility onto you. Most abusers will blame you for the abuse - even while they are actively engaged in the abuse. 8. They make you the butt of the joke, and don't apologize. Or they repeatedly make you the butt of derogatory jokes. Abusers will often use fake jokes as conditioners for additional abuse. 9. Emotional outbursts: love bombing - which is meant to lower your defenses, gaslighting - which invalidates your reality and further lowers your defenses, emotional manipulation - where they swing from nice to abusive, and back again. Abuse is cyclical. 10. Pushing buttons to make you uncomfortable. 11. Dismissive regarding things you find important, like your safety, health, and well-being. 12. Character assassination, telling lies about you, making horrible generalizations as a way to 'box' you into a specific role or part of their imaginary play. 13. Name-calling and derogatory nicknames. 14. They dehumanize you by looking away, talking over you, or flat out ignoring you when you are speaking. 15. The silent treatment. 16. Denying you support or access to help. 17. Actively working to turn others against you. Abuse is a process, it's not constant, it's a series of phases which abusers transition through over a period of time. #SeedyGreedyNeedy #RebelYell © Raena Exe 2024
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