Finding Your Voice

It can be super terrifying standing up for yourself, fighting your corner, for your health, your safety, and your truth.

It can even be dangerous.

But do it anyway.  Why?

Because you matter.

You see, I thought I didn't matter for a very long time.  In fact, I had to convince my adult self I was actually up to the same standards as everyone else.  I had to convince myself of this because for my entire life I have been excluded, made fun of, and taken advantage of, and I truly believed that was my only lot in life, that things would never be better for me.

And over my 52-years these beliefs about myself seemed to be continually validated by the folks I let into my life (mostly out of desperate necessity).  From my parents, to my husband, to my in-laws, to my employers... I was treated as the expendable commodity to be used and then thrown away when I became a nuisance.

And even though standing up for myself these past few years has cost me and my son so very very much, I know I did the right thing.

I know that these people who have abused me so terribly and so blatantly are right now abusing others.  This kind of treatment, this kind of behavior, did not start with me.  These abusers have made an entire system around the abuses that I and many others have sustained - a system that silences victims and protects abusers.

You see, if I had stayed silent, if I had not spoken up, then others would no doubt be hurt and my silence would now be a contributing factor. 

And the abuse of others is not something I could ever stand aside and ignore.

Ultimately, each of us has the right to stand up for ourselves, to tell people we deserve to be treated with respect and honesty or left entirely alone.

The fact my abusers felt they have the right to lie, manipulate, and basically terrorize me to the point death seemed a better option - reminds me... I have to keep stepping up and speaking up, because this won't stop with me, and maybe won't even stop when someone is dead.

The way my abusers have hidden, the way my former employer SITE Santa Fe fired me the day one started harassing them and they NEVER even warned me...

Yeah... I must speak up.  I have no choice.

Not just for the other victims, but for me too, because we are all worth basic human decency and respect, and I could not respect myself if I did not fight for myself just as hard as I would fight for others.

We are all worthy of having a voice.

We all deserve to be heard.

So, speak up.  You matter. 

Your story matters.

Namaste
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© Raena Exe 2024
*All rights reserved.

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